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1 Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sun May 30, 2010 2:26 pm

yes___I mean no

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First topic message reminder :

now i know not everyone is of African descent, but has any one noticed that they have been treated differently after or during lighting? just a thought, this is not something i have personally experienced but i'v herd a lot about it.


26 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sun Jun 13, 2010 3:14 pm

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Personally, I feel that in today's society that racism and colorism is experienced largely from other people of our own race instead of from those of a different race. Not that racism is exclusive to a particular group, but most of the racism and colorism was from my own ethnicity.


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27 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sun Jun 13, 2010 5:57 pm

yes___I mean no

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i agree, i have never heard a person outside the African american race talk about another persons dark skin, i guess it's just more socially expectable to here a black man talk about how dark an African is out loud then a white person doing the same.

28 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sun Jun 13, 2010 6:00 pm

yes___I mean no

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i agree, i have never heard a person outside the African american race talk about another persons dark skin, i guess it's just more socially expectable to here a black man talk about how dark an African is out loud then a white person doing the same.

29 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:48 pm

Alizee love

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Welli have mixed ideas on this.

You can not deny that in most countries and cultures the lighter you are the higher up you tend to be on the social scale. Look at the caste system in India, even a commercial for Ponds depicted a couple breaking up abd then the man was with a woman who was obviously white ot white looking. The darker skinned woman then tried the cream and once she achieved a lighter shade her old boyfriend wanted her back. Now to me that sends a negative message that you are not good enough as you are. With that in mind, I find nothing wrong with a person lightening their skin, I'm doing it, but one should not look elsewhere for validtion.

There are some who say they were treated better after lightening, but I feel that has more to do with wat they project out. If you have a low view of yourself it is noticeable and nobody wants to be around Debbie downer.

I myself am a light person and always have been. I was raised with a sort of European way of thinking and for that reason alone I do not fit in with the American black community. I tend to be most comfortable in a mixed or near white community simply because I tend to have more in common with that group. I have been accused of acting white which is idiotic because white is a color which is not a verb and therefor something you can't act like. I suppose what they mean is I don't act like a stereotype.

All in all I do think some may be treated different if they have lighter skin and as a very light person I may not be aware of it, or not as aware as a darker person.

30 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:58 pm

Alizee love

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I have to say in regards to Europe you will be seen as an American first and foremost, especially once you speak lol.

In Germany you might get looks because some have never seen a black person but I don't think anyone will yell racial slurs. If anything I have seen worse here in America. For example a person can walk down the street with Nazi symbols where as in France that person would not dare. There is a line between free speach and hate speach.

As for racism, race itself is a new concept considerd how old the world really is. In antiquity if you were in Egypt you're Egyptian, if in modern France yyou were a Gaul etc. Oh sure hey couuld see skin color but you were not defined by that but rather by where you live.

Self love is important to your psychological development and without it you could develop emotional or other such issues maybe even a samatoform.




Anywho I hope my two posts were not too convaluted lol

31 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:59 pm

Alizee love

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Welli have mixed ideas on this.

You can not deny that in most countries and cultures the lighter you are the higher up you tend to be on the social scale. Look at the caste system in India, even a commercial for Ponds depicted a couple breaking up abd then the man was with a woman who was obviously white ot white looking. The darker skinned woman then tried the cream and once she achieved a lighter shade her old boyfriend wanted her back. Now to me that sends a negative message that you are not good enough as you are. With that in mind, I find nothing wrong with a person lightening their skin, I'm doing it, but one should not look elsewhere for validtion.

There are some who say they were treated better after lightening, but I feel that has more to do with wat they project out. If you have a low view of yourself it is noticeable and nobody wants to be around Debbie downer.

I myself am a light person and always have been. I was raised with a sort of European way of thinking and for that reason alone I do not fit in with the American black community. I tend to be most comfortable in a mixed or near white community simply because I tend to have more in common with that group. I have been accused of acting white which is idiotic because white is a color which is not a verb and therefor something you can't act like. I suppose what they mean is I don't act like a stereotype.

All in all I do think some may be treated different if they have lighter skin and as a very light person I may not be aware of it, or not as aware as a darker person.

32 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:54 am

cordellpuss


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Golden-Girl Wrote:

Personally, I feel that in today's society that racism and colorism is experienced largely from other people of our own race instead of from those of a different race. Not that racism is exclusive to a particular group, but most of the racism and colorism was from my own ethnicity.

Oooh yes so true!!! i have seen and felt racism from my very own ethnicity than any other group of people,i'm not trying to put my race down i'm just being honest.

33 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:12 am

cordellpuss


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I think the people who gets better treatment when they are lighter comes from the added selfconfidence they gets when they lighten their skin, they maybe more out going and happy which is very atracttive and people in general are drawn to positive energy.

34 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:29 am

cordellpuss


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Maharani Wrote:

cordellpuss,

It sounds like your friend may have had a bad experience that has made her believe that being a certain tone is the only way to be happy. I hope she finds her peace and maybe as a friend you can help instil some of that gorgeous confidence you have.


Yes she does have bad experiences!! i tried to tell her she is beautiful regardless which colour she is but she's already deeply scared mentally,there is not much i can do too bad.

35 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 12:31 pm

MAHARANI

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Sometimes all it takes is that continuous "little" voice AND sometimes it does sink in eventually. Don't give up. Even if it does not seem like it, I am sure that she appreciates your uplifting words.

36 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 2:16 pm

Alizee love

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Cordellpus

I can tell you, you can say all the nice things you want but it won't really help. Your friend has some deep emotional issues that will only be reduced once she herself realises it and decides to go to therapy. However, most do not want to go to therapy because of the stigma and people do not want tolook deep into themselves and learn things they wish they hadn't.

As for racism I have felt it more from those of my own race. I feel it is because they themselves have insecurities and those insecurities manifest themselves by lashing out at others.



That is just my theory of course

37 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:13 pm

MAHARANI

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I totally agree that the best therapy would be to look at exactly what it is that has caused the problem and maybe talking it through would help over time BUT I am a great believer that positive energy and thoughts can contribute immensely. Better to have a friend who is upbeat and postive rather than someone who is happy to watch us wallow.

I know that they say that a bad comment gets remembered over and over again and tends to be our focus, so that the nice gestures and compliments get overshadowed, but the good can still trickle through.

38 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:19 pm

Alizee love

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Oh I do agree with that Maharani, but its good for people to know you as a friend can only do so much. With that said, a positive way of thinking is better then keeping company who sees the world as bleak and undaunted.

In reality all therapists do is talk, we are a neutral voice and provide a secure and trusting environment.

Sadly it is true that we as humans remember the bad more then the good and I belive a big reason is the bad helps to shape who you as a person is. The bad is the obstacle one must overcome to emerge a stronger and better person.

39 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:20 pm

yes___I mean no

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i believe in positive energy, every were i go i always smile for like no reason, but other people see it and i have old ladies just walking up saying hi and how i look so kind and want to start conversations with me, most people see i'm in a good mood and it transfers to them, it's pretty cool

40 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:33 pm

Alizee love

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I always say the world needs laughter, its a sad life if you never laugh JMO

41 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:42 pm

yes___I mean no

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Alizee love wrote:I always say the world needs laughter, its a sad life if you never laugh JMO


i like reciting quotes of intellectuals. were you quoting someone, who's jmo?

42 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 6:59 pm

MAHARANI

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yes___I mean no wrote:i believe in positive energy, every were i go i always smile for like no reason, but other people see it and i have old ladies just walking up saying hi and how i look so kind and want to start conversations with me, most people see i'm in a good mood and it transfers to them, it's pretty cool


Ooh lucky you !! I am always smiling and all I attract are the mad and the drunk !!! LOL

43 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:25 pm

Alizee love

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Lol no JMO means just my opinion but it was inspire by shakespear's "all the worlds a stage" syaing lol.


Maharani if you were in Sweden and walked around smiling people would think one of three things:
A) you're drunk
B) you're crazy
C) you're American
Or if you're really special they'll think your a drunk American who escaped the sanatarium. Lol

44 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:29 pm

Alizee love

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Oops it is supposed to say sanitarium......I can't spell today lol

45 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:31 pm

yes___I mean no

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oh, it's one of those abbreviations, well i learn something everyday.

i pick D)

46 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:45 pm

Alizee love

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The more you know sunny

This is a buddhist proverb: "lies told a thousand times become truth"


I may have misworded that but you get the meaning

47 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:50 pm

yes___I mean no

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"Truth has to be repeated constantly, because Error also is being preached all the time, and not just by a few, but by the multitude. In the Press and Encyclopaedias, in Schools and Universities, everywhere Error holds sway, feeling happy and comfortable in the knowledge of having Majority on its side."----Goethe

48 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:10 pm

Alizee love

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That's nice

49 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:55 am

quiamontana


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From my own experiemce I would say they do. Being dark has led me to be overlooked on so mny occaions even though I may have the same attributes or talents as the next person. It is one of the reasons I have been working on my lightening. Before anyone says it, I don't have poor self esteem or a bad attitude. I am polite and cheerful so know that it is down to colour.

50 Re: Do Light Skinned Blacks Have It Easier? on Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:18 pm

angeleyes


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I don't know you or know anything about your life but I know that sometimes when we get overlooked or things don't seem to be going our way, it is easy to try and blame it on something Now I am not saying that you are not right in your thinking about your situation but it is possible that the other people DID have attributes that made them more suitable and that had nothing to do with colour. Sometimes we look for things that are just not there. I am saying this from personal experience where I have convinced myself that someone had it in for me or something similar and more often than not it was just not the case.


It does come from being let down in the past by so called good friends and even family and it has made me a liitle more sensitive than I need to be. Now I know it is not the exact same situation but I want you to remain positive that this world is generally good and that you will receive your rewards. So stay positive. By all means continue your lightening journey but don't think that this is the be all and end all. Good comes to good. Afterall even if you have the prettiest face or the lightest face,if you don't have the talent or the heart behind it, then it will eventually come out

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