i like to make people laugh so i'll post one joke everyday, feel free to post a joke as well. the more you laugh the better.

Where does the one legged waitress work?
The Ihop

LOL. That is a great one! Thanks for sharing

allure wrote:LOL. That is a great one! Thanks for sharing

now it's your turn to make me laugh, i'm sure you have a joke up your sleeves.

but lot literally

0 to 200 in 6 seconds

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was very upset.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway,

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

LMAO!! Here's one..hope I don't offend....
He Said, I Said
He said to me . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
I said to him . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said to me . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said .. That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . ...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said to me. ... Why don't women blink during for****y?
I said to him .. . They don't have time

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

He said to me . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him . .. . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Another one for you...

The t*******s of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to **** *** pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up on to the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left t******e and told the Midget to turn > his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. 'Aha!' mumbled the doc, and as he put his finger under the right t******e, he asked the midget to cough again. 'Aha!' said the Doctor once more, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his t******s still hurt. The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his "boys" were no longer aching. The doctor said, 'How does that feel now?' The midget replied, 'Perfect, Doc, and I didn't even feel it. What did you do? 'The doctor replied, 'I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.

ha ha ha ha ha ha....

What do you call a woman with one leg?

- Ilene

LOL, that is funny.

I love this thread !! Great idea !! Keep em coming !!!

the queen has spoken

this joke is rated pg-13

What did the p***s say to the c****m?

Cover me im going in!

Hahahahaha..where the heck did you come up with these? LOL. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

7 ways to annoy someone, enjoy

specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.