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1 joke of the day on Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:01 pm

yes___I mean no

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First topic message reminder :

i like to make people laugh so i'll post one joke everyday, feel free to post a joke as well. the more you laugh the better.


126 Re: joke of the day on Mon Jul 26, 2010 3:56 pm

yes___I mean no

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ewww, did that old man...
what the h*ll is that old man thinking
what, i don't think i get it

127 Re: joke of the day on Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:09 pm

yes___I mean no

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The doctor says to a man “I’m sorry, sir, but the test results have come back a tad inconclusive. Your wife could have either AIDs or Alzheimer’s. We’re not sure which”.

The man replies, “Oh my God! That’s awful! What should I do?”

The doctor says, “Take her down into the city centre and leave her there. If she finds her way back, don’t f**k her!”

128 Re: joke of the day on Tue Jul 27, 2010 11:03 am

yes___I mean no

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129 Re: joke of the day on Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:37 am

MAHARANI

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You just can't seem to get enough of that show !!!! LOL








.

130 Re: joke of the day on Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:43 am

yes___I mean no

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131 Re: joke of the day on Thu Jul 29, 2010 3:36 pm

yes___I mean no

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132 Re: joke of the day on Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:14 pm

MAHARANI

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After hours of drinking heavily, Bob is sitting in a bar, when through his bloodshot eyes, he notices a figure sitting next to him. Feeling very jovial, the bloke turns to the blurry figure and says,"Do you want to hear a blonde joke ?"

The figure next to him, snorts, "Listen mate" comes a female voice, " I weigh 175 lbs and am the British Women's kick boxing champion. I am also blonde. My blonde friend next to me weighs 190 lbs and is the Women's European arm wrestling champion. Finally my friend over at the bar weighs 235 lbs and is the Womens' power lifting champion. She too is also a natural blonde. NOW do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"

The guy thinks about it for a while.

"Hmmmmmm" he replies finally, "Not if I have to explain it three times !!!!"

133 Re: joke of the day on Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:24 pm

yes___I mean no

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LAUGHING OUT LOUD Laughing

134 Re: joke of the day on Fri Jul 30, 2010 1:27 pm

yes___I mean no

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135 Re: joke of the day on Sat Jul 31, 2010 1:32 pm

yes___I mean no

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136 Re: joke of the day on Tue Aug 03, 2010 12:00 pm

MAHARANI

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There was once a mobster, who employed a deaf and dumb accountant. For years all went well between the two, until one day the mobster decided to double check his books and realised that he was missing $10 million . Enraged, he sent for the accountant, who returned accompanied by his brother who could speak sign language.

"Tell your brother, I want to know where my $10 million's gone!!" the furious gangster shouted at the brother. After a quick exchange, the translating brother reported that the accountant knew nothing about the missing millions.

The angry mafioso then pulled out a gun and held it to his accountant's head, " You tell this lying son of a wh**e that if he don't tell me where my money is in the next 20 seconds, that I'll blow his brains out !!"

The brother duly translated this message and the accountant furiously signalled back that the money was hidden under a bed in his house.

"Well" growled the thug,"What did the little rat say?!"

"He said" replied the brother "that you don't have the balls to do it !"

137 Re: joke of the day on Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:55 am

yes___I mean no

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what is a "son of a wh??e"
never herd of that

138 Re: joke of the day on Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:53 am

MAHARANI

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Trust you to home in on that part. LOL. The board automatically censors any words it considers offensive, so just add "OR" to get the word that was censored...

139 Re: joke of the day on Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:53 pm

yes___I mean no

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oh, i'v never herd such combination of words

140 Re: joke of the day on Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:12 pm

yes___I mean no

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141 Re: joke of the day on Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:56 pm

MAHARANI

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Elderly and cancer ridden, a man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself up out of bed and slowly made his way out of the bedroom. Bracing himself by leaning on the banister, he stumbled downstairs, his muscles screaming with the pain of the effort.

He finally reached the kitchen and breathing heavily, he leaned against the door frame. Was he already in heaven???? There spread out upon the table were literally hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies. Was it a divine gift?? Or one final act of Love from his devoted wife, making sure he left this world a Happy man?

Mustering his strength, he threw hmself towards the table, landing on his knees. His parched lips parted imagining the wondrous taste of biscuit that would make his last hours tolearble. Shakingly, his withered hand snaked over to the plate at the edge of the table. But suddenly, it was smacked with a spatula.

"Stay out of those" said his wife . "They're for the funeral!"

142 Re: joke of the day on Thu Aug 05, 2010 6:01 pm

MAHARANI

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143 Re: joke of the day on Sat Aug 07, 2010 8:33 am

yes___I mean no

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144 Re: joke of the day on Sun Aug 08, 2010 4:08 pm

yes___I mean no

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145 Re: joke of the day on Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:27 pm

yes___I mean no

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A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, “T-G-I-F.”

He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, “T-G-I-F” again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, “S-H-I-T.”

The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time.

The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, “S-H-I-T.”

The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, “T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?”

The man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

146 Re: joke of the day on Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:02 am

yes___I mean no

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HA HA HA HA [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

147 Re: joke of the day on Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:23 pm

yogi

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very funny thread !!

148 Re: joke of the day on Tue Jan 11, 2011 2:30 pm

yogi

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An Indian shopkeeper is on his death bed in hospital. As he lays on his bed he calls over for his wife "Wife, where are you?". His wife respnods, "Here I am". He then calls for his son who holds his hand and replies" Don't worry Dad, I am here". The very sick man then asks for his daughter who comes closer to the bed and says "Dad I am here too". To which the Dad shouts " Well who's in the bleeding shop!!!!"

149 Re: joke of the day on Wed Jan 12, 2011 3:54 pm

KIM


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Didn't even realise this section existed. Looks like there is a lot of bits I need to read through on this forum. Very funny jokes !!!

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