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1 How do you deal with this? on Wed Aug 18, 2010 11:11 am

KIM


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I need some advice about how you guys handle when people start asking you questions when you start lightening. It isn't a problem at the moment as I have stopped using the makari, but when I start lightening back up, I need some help with what to say. The last time people started noticing and making comments I really didn't know what to say and I think this made people more suspicious about what I was doing. family in particular can be difficult and although I have never had a conversation about it, I get the impression that they would not approve. Any ideas?


2 Re: How do you deal with this? on Fri Aug 20, 2010 2:19 pm

MAHARANI

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It's a bit of hard one this.........Let's face it, even though we are in 2010, lightening skin, can be a very taboo subject and really looked down upon. Whereas you can tan till you fry yourself, without anyone asking why are you trying to change who you are, lightening seems to make some think you are trying to run away from who you are.


At the end of the day, the last time I looked, we are living in a mostly free world and if someone chooses to do something then this should be their choice and no one else's. If it is not for you, then do not partake but no one should have any right to stop you from doing what you want unless it is something dangerous.


I do believe that after a while people tend to get used to the "lighter you" and there tends to be less comments over time, but whilst going through the initial process, you could perhaps say you are doing peels and exfoliation to sort out the spots you mentioned before, if being totally upfront is not for you.


I will be honest enough to say that I would not be comfortable about saying what I am doing, though, I have mentioned using vitamin C for brightening and for it's anti aging benefits.


I am sure someone else will come along with other suggestions, but I know it can be a difficult subject to be confronted with.





3 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sat Aug 21, 2010 10:19 am

KIM


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Thanks for responding. It sounds like a good idea about the exfoliation as I do still have some marks from the spots I got from the makari and they are quite dark so I guess saying I am trying to get rid of them does not sound too unreasonable. I just want to be a bit prepared for any comments. Thanks again Very Happy

4 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sun Aug 22, 2010 9:41 am

MAHARANI

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Well do let us know if the circumstance arises when you do have to come up with all the "right" answers !!! LOL


You may be surprised that you don't get all that many comments. I know that even when I was at my very lightest, very few people questioned me. In fact it was only a girl at work, who asked if I was "bleaching" . Cheeky cow!!! She said it in front of a few white colleagues, who I hope did not quite understand what she was getting at. .........I hope !!! LOL





5 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sun Aug 22, 2010 3:15 pm

Alizee love

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Well people may not notice it at first, I remember a girl in high school who started the year a dark brown and by graduation was a light color, almost tan. Now while she was lightening I can say I really did not see a difference but I do believe she mentioned during the wintr months she looks lighter, but that didn't explain her lighter shade during the hot months, lol. But for the most part peple never said anything to her.

I would suggest telling people your exfoliating or getting peels done, but of you change drastically I'm sure how to deal with that.

6 Re: How do you deal with this? on Mon Aug 23, 2010 1:48 pm

KIM


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I was thinking about pepople noticing but not saying anything but maybe talking about it behind my back. Oh well better that than being out and out confronted. I am just no good at being questioned and I'm scared my face will tell it all, so to speak lol

7 Re: How do you deal with this? on Wed Aug 25, 2010 9:54 am

MAHARANI

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Well at least you are preparing yourself in case the occasion arises, so hopefully it will be believable. Just wish some would learn to mind their own business .


8 Re: How do you deal with this? on Wed Aug 25, 2010 1:42 pm

KIM


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Thank you! When I had the really bad marks I could not understand how people were so quick to ask what was wrong with my face. I wouldn't dream of doing it to sum one else. It's just not the way I am.

9 Re: How do you deal with this? on Fri Sep 10, 2010 6:49 pm

Calista


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Some people are so rude and tactless, I just can't believe it. There are some people who dare to ask the most personal questions, even if you don't know them! For example, the other day my fiancee called me on his lunch hour to tell me a co-worker had said to him that he'd noticed he had gained weight and it didn't look good on him. He is not friends with this man. The man works in the shop next to my fiancee's office. My fiancee has been struggling with a lot of stress at work and therefore has gained weight this year. He was caught off guard and had no response for this guy. I was offended on his behalf, although he shrugged it off as a 'guy thing.' I know his feelings were hurt.I think if it's a stranger or acquaintance asking, you don't really owe them any explanation.
If it's a family member, that's another story entirely. They just may be curious about the change in your looks, in which case you could say you're trying to eat really healthy and it shows.

10 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:05 pm

rainbow


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There should be a law made that unless you have something nice to say or you have a GENUINE interest, you need to keep your comments & opinions to yourself. I could care less what other people think about me but I get sick and tired of people & their gob spouting a load of crap. Mind your own d**n business. I don't need to hear it & especially from a stranger or someone who has shown no interest before.

11 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:09 pm

rainbow


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I must add that I used to be overweight as a yougster & it has been a tough journey losing the weight and keeping it off. Tell your boyfriend not to stress too much about it and take it one day at a time. When the time is right for him the weight will come off with a little will power and focus.

12 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sun Sep 12, 2010 5:21 am

KIM


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Calista I hope that your boyfriend does not let this comment get him down. People can be so mean with what they say. When I started getting the comments about the spot marks it made me not want to leave my house. I am just thankful for make up as I had no choice about going out. but it still makes me so self concience and paranoid if someone is staring a bit longer than I think they need to be.

13 Re: How do you deal with this? on Sun Sep 12, 2010 7:46 am

MAHARANI

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Hi Calista,


Long time !!! I am glad that your fiancee has been able to shrug the incident off. Hopefully he will not take the comment to heart and will do whatever needs to be done when he is ready to and not when someone has the bad manners to point it out. Often people seem totally oblivious to how their words can be so hurtful.


I know when my sister went to Jamaica, she spent the whole trip having total strangers approaching her to tell her how "fat" she was. My sister is by no means slim but is definitely not on a level that would warrant such attention. It did spoil what was supposed to be a lovely relaxing holiday and she has vowed never to go back there ever, as a result. I find that incredibly sad as we have much family over there. I have never been myself, as I don't think I could cope in the heat but my sister does not have the same problem and now she has been left with painful and embarrassing memories of the whole holiday and a lot of negative thoughts about a country which should have been like a touch of paradise.






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