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Light Skin, Bright Future?

On Good Morning America we took a look at the controversy over Sen. Harry Reid's remarks in terms of President Obama's agenda. And then on World News with Diane Sawyer, we looked at what some call the "unfortunate truth" of Reid's assertion that Americans prefer lighter-skinned African-Americans over darker-skinned African-Americans.

Hello everyone!

I started this thread becuase I thought it would be interesting to most and I would love to observe your delicious opinions!

WHERE DO I START!

omg there is sooo much truth in Sen. Harry Reid's remark that a movie should be made on the subject. for those of you who know from skincaretalk you will know that me and a few others started this skin lightening journey earlier this year! I began at a Jannet Jackson skin tone and currenltly I'm a few shades lighter than Rihanna! I must say!!!! the treatment I've recived from the gay community, and people in general post my transformation has left me lost for words!

I am the exact same person I was months ago! the only difference! my skin is lighter! I've gone from being ignorned, casted aside, insulted, looked down upon, to greeted with a smile and more, COMMENTED ON A DAILY BASES, offered phone numbers and much more!

even people who do not agree with my choice say that I "look better!"

there is soo much science, and sociology behind this mentality!

what do you think?

While the idea of "white is right" is cross-culture and has been around for centuries, if not since antiquity, I think the treatment is more of a mental issue. Speaking from a psychology stand point, whether one admits it or not, what one projects does affect how they are received. If you are confident and assure of yyourself you will project it and others will notice. If you're a person who believes the tone of your skin is the reason people do not care you, you will project a feeling of self-loathing and hate. Once you are lighter you feel relieved and so you come across as a person more assure of who they are. Now others like myself have confidence and am very comfortable in our own skin but would just prefer a lighter shade, or just some hate not having a bronze tan. I also really want to get back to the colour I had as a child which was a olive complexion.

To touch more on the white is right ideology, in cultures like India even the Hndu Gods are depicted as fair skinned and the untouchables, lowest of the cast system, are depicted as dark-skinned. Now this also has to do with the fact that in days gone by the wealthy few who ruled over all did not work out in the sun and therefor their complexion tended to be lighter then those who had to work outside.

These are just some thoughts and I hope I made sense as it is after 1:00 A.M here lol

I agree that there is something to the idea that if we are feeling good about ourselves then it does come across to others and we may get a different response than if we are down on oursleves and not confident. if we are smiling and happy we are bound to get a better response than if we are glum and miserable.

But I also think that there is some truth in what entising said. I know that even when I was just walking about I was approached much more when I had lightened than when I had not. I definitely was no different in my personality and at the time I had not even noticed that I had lightened so much. I just seemed to get more noticed for some reason. I never changed my hair, my clothes, my walk, nothing and yet people kept looking. It does feel sad saying it but I think there is some truth to this sadly.

Oh I don't doubt there is some truth but it also depends where you are. From my experience in Europe, if you see interacial couples they tend to be dark skinned; or basically they are obviously not mixed. Now I've noticed in the states it tends to be the opposite.

Over all I think it is most important to learn to love yourself, do not lighten to get approval from others. I do lighten but it is not because I was told I was ugly with brown skin or to get en to like me, I do it because I simply prefer lighter color as others prefer to a tan or brown hair.

Alizee love wrote:Oh I don't doubt there is some truth but it also depends where you are. From my experience in Europe, if you see interacial couples they tend to be dark skinned; or basically they are obviously not mixed. Now I've noticed in the states it tends to be the opposite.

Over all I think it is most important to learn to love yourself, do not lighten to get approval from others. I do lighten but it is not because I was told I was ugly with brown skin or to get en to like me, I do it because I simply prefer lighter color as others prefer to a tan or brown hair.

I agree with you.Lightening as well as any other changes one may choose should be for you and not to please other people...true talk

Alizee love wrote:While the idea of "white is right" is cross-culture and has been around for centuries, if not since antiquity, I think the treatment is more of a mental issue. Speaking from a psychology stand point, whether one admits it or not, what one projects does affect how they are received. If you are confident and assure of yyourself you will project it and others will notice. If you're a person who believes the tone of your skin is the reason people do not care you, you will project a feeling of self-loathing and hate. Once you are lighter you feel relieved and so you come across as a person more assure of who they are. Now others like myself have confidence and am very comfortable in our own skin but would just prefer a lighter shade, or just some hate not having a bronze tan. I also really want to get back to the colour I had as a child which was a olive complexion.

To touch more on the white is right ideology, in cultures like India even the Hndu Gods are depicted as fair skinned and the untouchables, lowest of the cast system, are depicted as dark-skinned. Now this also has to do with the fact that in days gone by the wealthy few who ruled over all did not work out in the sun and therefor their complexion tended to be lighter then those who had to work outside.

These are just some thoughts and I hope I made sense as it is after 1:00 A.M here lol

you're saying what alot of people have said to me...that this "good treatment" that I'm reciving is not becuase of my lighter skin tone but the positive energy I exude...

its not all in my mind sweety. people have complemented me on my face.. and skin tone very recently...and you know that saying from the mouth of a babe will come the truth! well the truth came!

my 12 year old cousin could not stop talking about how much she wanted to have a skin tone like mine and she's very dark skinned. this is what society projects! there are many many explanations as why skin color and eye color and race play a significant role in our fates on this planet IN THIS DAY AN AGE! HOWEVER ONE CANNOT DISPUTE THE FACT that it does.

certain things are seen as beautiful while other things are not. what that video said about lighter skinned black people versus darker skinned black people is NOTHING BUT THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH and you see it every day here in newyork city! not only amongst black people but other ethnicities as well; Indian, asian, hispanic etc etc.

I know this one guy who is puerto rican and at first glance he looks part indian, part black however he claims his race is white... and he's never shy to say "I'm part pueto rican (there is no race that defines puerto rican as this country is very diverse where race is concerned and very mixed as well) part white but I adhere more to the white side!" WOW! ok!

any thing but black right????? once some on declares them selves Puerto Rican that means they're not black? they're anything but black??? this is soo interesting as I can recall seeing MANY BLACK AND DARK SKINNED PEURTO RICANS IN PUERTO RICO...

omg...

KIM wrote:I agree that there is something to the idea that if we are feeling good about ourselves then it does come across to others and we may get a different response than if we are down on oursleves and not confident. if we are smiling and happy we are bound to get a better response than if we are glum and miserable.

But I also think that there is some truth in what entising said. I know that even when I was just walking about I was approached much more when I had lightened than when I had not. I definitely was no different in my personality and at the time I had not even noticed that I had lightened so much. I just seemed to get more noticed for some reason. I never changed my hair, my clothes, my walk, nothing and yet people kept looking. It does feel sad saying it but I think there is some truth to this sadly.

my lord...tell me about it!

Alizee love wrote:Oh I don't doubt there is some truth but it also depends where you are. From my experience in Europe, if you see interacial couples they tend to be dark skinned; or basically they are obviously not mixed. Now I've noticed in the states it tends to be the opposite.

Over all I think it is most important to learn to love yourself, do not lighten to get approval from others. I do lighten but it is not because I was told I was ugly with brown skin or to get en to like me, I do it because I simply prefer lighter color as others prefer to a tan or brown hair.

In newyork....racism is like lysol...

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Enticing I am not saying the lighter isn't why you're being noticed now. I know that sadly lighter skinned blacks do sometimes have an easier part but what you project plays a big roll too.

As for the Puerto Rican thing, they are a mix of the native people from La Isla, the Spanish, German, some African and French; but mostly Spanish and some African. If you look at the different buldings you can see the influence of all these nations. Also, as a latino you are considerd white, I know its weird since many are at least tan in colour, lol

I haven't had a bad experience in NY and. I'm sorry you have, some people really need to learn to accept others but it is human nature to not trust what is diferent fro you.

All I can add is that if I am with my lighter coloured friends they do tend to get more attention even though we are all pretty much the same level of attractiveness in my opinion. It's like when you see blonde hair, somehow your eyes seem automtaically attratcted to it. It doesn't mean that it is better than brown, black, red hair but somehow it gets noticed more. I am lightening for myself and not for anybody's benefit I must add although I know there will be people who will say that we are all lightening for others, be it to be liked more, accepted more, attractive to potential partners and so on. Hope that makes sense.

I know that i will feel better with a lighter complexion and I dont care who don't like it. I have come across so many haters on forums telling me to love myself the way I am. As far as I am concerned if something can be changed and I want to change it then no one should be trying to stand in my way. If you don't like it then don't look my way. I do believe that some people get better treatment due to colouring and everyone can put their head in the sand and say it ain't so but I have seen it with my own two eyes.

Yoig I understand what you mean. Whenever someone changes something about them people assume it is because you don't like yourself or want to please others. With some yes this is sadly true but for many we simply prefer a lighter shade for OURSELVES, maybe if lightening wasn't such a taboo more people would know this.

Alizee love wrote:Yoig I understand what you mean. Whenever someone changes something about them people assume it is because you don't like yourself or want to please others. With some yes this is sadly true but for many we simply prefer a lighter shade for OURSELVES, maybe if lightening wasn't such a taboo more people would know this.

Well Sweety I dont care what people have to say about my skin lightening....I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE SAY MOST DARK SKINNED PEOPLE ESPECIALLY DARK SKINNED PEOPLE IN AMERICA COVET LIGHTER SKIN...

if they didn't they wouldn't be making such a big deal when people lighten.

my department psychologist pulled me into his office yesterday and asked me out of "concern" what was happening to my pigment.

And I responded with ignorance "what do you mean?"...he kept going on and on about the dramatic difference and how I looked like michael jackson when he was in the middle of his transformation...so I continued to play dumb

and he was like "no one else has said anything to you?" so I said no..well except for my cousin and boss.. (LIES!!! EVREYONE HAS BEEN SAYING STUFF TO ME!!!)

I made sure to menstion the complements I got from a friend of mine..

and he even said.."some people in society tend to link lighter skin with beauty"

in my mind i was like SOME PEOPLE?????? I'VE SEEN HIS PICTURES OF HIS FAMILY IN HIS OFFICE!!! he is a georgeous man! he looks alot like the rock (Dwayne Johnson)BODY AND ALL the wrestler/actor. his wife is light skinned and so is his daughter so I dont know what the h*ll he was talking about he's one of those people.

people are sooo ignorant...the eye pics up features much better or much more clearly when the individual is light skinned! thus people are able to depict spesific traits easily! rearch has proved it that darker skin, espeically very dark skin tends to startle people and even to an extent tend to make them feel uncomfortable.

I'm not gonna stop I'm sorry....and I think I just might go as light as michael jackson cause my mono just arived today!

Alizee love wrote:Enticing I am not saying the lighter isn't why you're being noticed now. I know that sadly lighter skinned blacks do sometimes have an easier part but what you project plays a big roll too.

As for the Puerto Rican thing, they are a mix of the native people from La Isla, the Spanish, German, some African and French; but mostly Spanish and some African. If you look at the different buldings you can see the influence of all these nations. Also, as a latino you are considerd white, I know its weird since many are at least tan in colour, lol

I haven't had a bad experience in NY and. I'm sorry you have, some people really need to learn to accept others but it is human nature to not trust what is diferent fro you.

yes this true...and it sad...but the reason I'm more confident and I feel more powerful now and I'm just generally much more happy and less depressed is because some thing physically changed...some that thas depressed me for years.

that thought about latino's being white I dont even know where that stems from...I guess once you come from a spanish domincated culture and what is a spanish culture any ways since the culture varies from spanish speaking country to spanish speaking county...since one comes from a spanish speaking country they attomatcially identify with the desired race...and I dont blame them...why the h*ll not...if you can pass for white...go ahead...it would make your life a h*ll of alot easier. everyone knows it...

I've heard other gay people say...even me some times..."If I could take a straight pill to make my self straight I would take it as my life would be significantly easier"...same thing goes with lighter skin...your life becomes significantly easier! whats wrong with wanting a better life...and all the people who covet what you have but bash you out of PURE JEALOUSY ARE JUST VERY STUPID...i mean who do they think they're fooling!

people will never trust what is different Alizee love...and its so sad...instead of all of use looking at our differences and seeing them as things that make us unique and mere fact that we're all unique means that were all the same cause we have that in common...instead of doing that we take the things that make us different and use them as dividers...as a form of seperation!

things will never change...not in our life times any ways...well I dont care what any one says...I'm making my life easier!!! and I'm not stopping with just skin lightening!

rainbow wrote:I know that i will feel better with a lighter complexion and I dont care who don't like it. I have come across so many haters on forums telling me to love myself the way I am. As far as I am concerned if something can be changed and I want to change it then no one should be trying to stand in my way. If you don't like it then don't look my way. I do believe that some people get better treatment due to colouring and everyone can put their head in the sand and say it ain't so but I have seen it with my own two eyes.

Amen!

Your using mono? Well good luck with it and I hope you are ready for the time and commitment it takes. We do have another member here who used and maybe when she comes bac from holiday she can give you tips on ways to help the mono along or something.

With the man in your psychology department, just because he and his family are lighter doesn't mean he prefers it, who knows all the different people he has dated *shrugs*. But I do know what you mean. It is those who are lighter that tell others to just be happy with what you have, I must admit I am lighter skinned but I wish to get my original shade which was a little olive/tan; I remember a neighbors grandmother (she was eighty) telling my parenst I'm "passable" then I learned what that meant and it saddend me.

Yes people will always be less trusting of those that are different, it is human nature and a part of the instinct that helped our early pre-historic ancestors survivor to pass their DNA onto us. The key is for people to leanr to trust and respect the differences we all have; we're all apart of the homeosapien family ya know

Enticing I don't get your psycologists concern with what you are doing !!!!! Was it his freakin duty to pull you to one side and save you form yourself ?!!! And how DARE he mention Michael Jackson!!! I find that so insulting. Any tme anyone does the slightest bit of lightening , out comes that comment. I wonder if a girl had come in with a boob job would he have dared pull her to one side with any concerns about what was going on. Jeez are we not allowed to cchange something without everyone's STICK MY BIG NOSE radar suddenly coming into action. It makes me sick.

I just thought what if some white person had come in super tanned would it have been an issue too?????? Hey why you trying to be Black, young man/lady.??? I really can't wait for things to change and for things like this just to be accepted as yet another thing that people can and will if they want, change. Poor Michael had to put up with so much stick and though he kind of paved the way for others, I do also think what he did made it absolutely clear that society just don't like it. I will shut up now.

Alizee which member is using mono? I dont think I have seen their post. Are they black? Thanks

Sara, I'm not sure what her race is but she has been very helpful and informative.

Rainbow when. It comes to Michael he had a lot of problems and I think all the surgery he did went too far. At the end he didn't even have a nose, but I believe this happend because of his childhood with that monster Joe Jackson.

rainbow wrote:Enticing I don't get your psycologists concern with what you are doing !!!!! Was it his freakin duty to pull you to one side and save you form yourself ?!!! And how DARE he mention Michael Jackson!!! I find that so insulting. Any tme anyone does the slightest bit of lightening , out comes that comment. I wonder if a girl had come in with a boob job would he have dared pull her to one side with any concerns about what was going on. Jeez are we not allowed to cchange something without everyone's STICK MY BIG NOSE radar suddenly coming into action. It makes me sick.

I just thought what if some white person had come in super tanned would it have been an issue too?????? Hey why you trying to be Black, young man/lady.??? I really can't wait for things to change and for things like this just to be accepted as yet another thing that people can and will if they want, change. Poor Michael had to put up with so much stick and though he kind of paved the way for others, I do also think what he did made it absolutely clear that society just don't like it. I will shut up now.

Oh keep going! you're so right! I did ask him that! i asked him if it would have been such an issue if I had gotten darker and he didn't say any thing! I just dont get it! its okay when a light skinned person tans becuase for some reason dark skinned black people believe that the world owes them some thing...and I'M SO TIRED OF HEARING BLACK PEOPLE SAY THAT CAUCASIANS TAN BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE BLACK! ARE U KIDDING ME!!!! omg!

I cant think of any caucasians who would trade a narrow nose for a broad nose...dark uneven thick skin for fairer skin, straigh hair for curly or kinky or coolie hair, or lighter eyes for darker eyes!

my family freaked out when they saw me and of course michael jackson came up again! they all had some thing to say about me accepting and loving my self...and all kinds of crap...and they act like they love their color so much when thats the very thing that has kept them down all these years!!!!!

and after they were done yelling at my aunt who was very unpleased with my lighter skin tone got me alone and asked me "what cream are you using...could you get me some? I dont wanna be as light as you I just wanna get a little lighter."

JESUS CHRIST!!!! PHD IN hypocrisy!!!!!

Alizee love wrote:Sara, I'm not sure what her race is but she has been very helpful and informative.

Rainbow when. It comes to Michael he had a lot of problems and I think all the surgery he did went too far. At the end he didn't even have a nose, but I believe this happend because of his childhood with that monster Joe Jackson.

yes...appart from the nose job..he had alot of other surgeries....his face kept changing like continents!

he had alot of issues and he had many illness...its all so sad...and omg that long lists of drugs he was on...

however he was using both mono and hydroquinone! and he had excellent resuts!

i think he looked great after "I'm bad" and even when he made that video "you are not alone" I dont know why he kept changing after that...there is only soo much perfection.

Alizee love wrote:Your using mono? Well good luck with it and I hope you are ready for the time and commitment

I haven't starting using it yet for now its looking quite pretty on my shelf!

Well you do know Micheal Jackson had vitiligo and that played a big roll in why his skin turned out the way it did? I must say I didn't like his skin in the later years, it just didn't work for him but it could've been all the other surgeries he had that made him look unatural. Since you don't have it, there is no telling how the mono will worl on you. I'm not saying don't as it is your body and I have been tempted, but I wouldn't expect a miracle. Even Sara has stated it was not easy for her and there were spots, she just got lucky and things seem to be working for her

Now HQ I plan on using but I know I have to continue using it, just not as frequently^^.