now i know not everyone is of African descent, but has any one noticed that they have been treated differently after or during lighting? just a thought, this is not something i have personally experienced but i'v herd a lot about it.

Interesting question. Since I have lightened, people do treat me different...and better. More positive attention and people assume I'm arab mixed. Some may view this as negative, but it encourages me to maintain once I reach my overall goal.

In my opinion yes. Being insulted because of your brown complexion from people, some men, employees, and even a few friends isn't fair. I recall an ocasion of not being promoted and having someone without a degree and work experience only because their skin was much lighter...I actually had to hear these things with my own ears. All colors and shades are beautiful equally, but everyone is not treated equally by far. Whether it is unconsciously or consciously as of why some people are judgemental in ways like this, maybe both. Though, eventually it lead me to question more and to be more observant of my surroundings and discontinue living in denial. Well, this is just my opinion.

and you?

Golden Girl wrote:and you?

no,'m not that dark and not that light.and not have lightened that much over the short time i'v been involved with this, but give it some time and as my skin gets lighter maybe i'll have a story to tell. the only person that knows i'm lightening is my father and he believes it not only won't work but that he was disappointed in me, this sounds bad but me and my father were never close to begin with.thats really the only experience i have with other people.

my color now is about 1 shade lighter from the day i was born, i'v been treated the same. and i'm young so haven't experienced pregidous in the work place, at lest not yet

Yeah, some family members were also dissapointed with me. When I was a child and even a baby I was somewhere between Tyra's and Beyonce's shade, and my mom used to call me "yellow". I just started wearing sunblock on a regular basis in 2007 and I was always outdoors. I'm not dark or light overall, just brownskin similar to Toni Braxton's complexion. So, from living in Ethiopia and living in the American south my exposed skin had really tanned considerably but much of my unexposed areas especially upper body that is covered is several shades lighter that I'm still working to have my face match.

i'm not looking forward to the day of a family reunion were my skin has a dramatic changes. so many questions, why do you.....i don't understand why you.... aren't you happy with.....what was wrong before...

and there all very aggressive, whoooo not looking forward to it at alllll

yes_I mean no,

I guess, that as you already know what sort of people you are dealing with that at least it gives you the opportunity to prepare yourself for any verbal attacks. It is definitely better than it coming unexpectedly.

My thoughts are that as long as you are happy with what you have done, do not let other people's sniping get to you. We only have one life (Actually I think we come back again and again) and I feel it is important that we do things during our lives that make us happy, so long as it does not hurt you or anyone else. Imagine conforming to what others want and never being happy yourself. You are just not living.

I say bring on the lightening and if they comment, at least you know it's working !!! LOL And then eventually they will get used to the new lighter "you " and will have to find something else to criticize.

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I agree. It can be a challenge to deal with others' critisisms when it comes to skin..but if it was hair-related or if wearing a new trend of color blend green contacts most likely the energy will be more of a positive one.

Sometimes it feels like lightening your complexion is seen as some sort of heinous crime for some....It may actually be preferable to actually carry out some sort of crime LOL
I have a niece who turned up at my christmas dinner with blue hair, all sorts of facial piercings and a gothic looking outfit. No one made any comments, (my family are very polite that way) but I wonder, had she lightened significantly, would she have had another set of people commenting about the drastic change. I know my family would not have said anything , thankfully but I find it funny what people will and will NOT accept.

i know in some places in Africa individuals suffering from albinism are hunted and killed for their body parts for the use of witch craft related activities.

reminds me of the movie district 9

I think it depends on where you at or with whom you sorround yourself with !! within the black comunity is the worst there is where you start to develope low selfesteem and insecurities if you are of dark skin or brown skin.

Alot of times it's not just the colour of your skin it's also the feathers and bone structure, from my experience i don't get better treatment when i am lighter.

cordellpuss, it is sad to think that within your own community, you feel that looking a certain way or not conforming to what is "considered " the "ideal" can make you feel insecure.

Part of me thinks that this is why I have always felt more comfortable in the very mixed area that I live in. I would go as far to say that it is more "white". I have never been made to feel uncomfortable about who I am or what I look like, thankfully. I really wish that people could just get away from all this putting others down and making them feel bad about themselves. I do believe that it also makes them feel "superior" by doing so. How very sad.

Just to add, that maybe those who have felt that they had better treatment were actually looking out for whether the lightening had some sort of effect on others. I guess if you are not really looking or thinking about it, it could be easy to miss the better treatment, if in fact it did happen anyway.

For some I would say that the added confidence that may be achieved in attaining certain lightening goals, could bring about a change in your personality, demeanor etc. and this in turn may bring out the best in others. If you are happy, you're smiling, you're confident, then this can bring about a reaction in others that may be deemed as nicer and may be unusual.

yes_I mean no,

over in the UK, with the football world cup beginning in South Africa, they are airing a programme about this very case of Tanzanian albinos being hunted and what they are trying to do to stop it from happening. I haven't had a chance to watch the programme, but here is some info on what is a very sad and shocking story.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Maharani Wrote:cordellpuss, it is sad to think that within your own community, you feel that looking a certain way or not conforming to what is "considered " the "ideal" can make you feel insecure.

Part of me thinks that this is why I have always felt more comfortable in the very mixed area that I live in. I would go as far to say that it is more "white". I have never been made to feel uncomfortable about who I am or what I look like, thankfully. I really wish that people could just get away from all this putting others down and making them feel bad about themselves. I do believe that it also makes them feel "superior" by doing so. How very sad.

Yes it is really sad but true !!! I'm from jamaica and growing up you would here people calling one another black and ugly,which is beyound my understanding. I am now living in Germany and you would think that the white people would discrimate you for your colour, no it's the other way around they compliment you on how beautiful your colour is.

Maharani Wrote:
Just to add, that maybe those who have felt that they had better treatment were actually looking out for whether the lightening had some sort of effect on others. I guess if you are not really looking or thinking about it, it could be easy to miss the better treatment, if in fact it did happen anyway.

For some I would say that the added confidence that may be achieved in attaining certain lightening goals, could bring about a change in your personality, demeanor etc. and this in turn may bring out the best in others. If you are happy, you're smiling, you're confident, then this can bring about a reaction in others that may be deemed as nicer and may be unusual.

Very true i know a particular person who lighten her skin and when she gets dark then goes her confidence also !!it is as if she depend on lighter skin to feel human. On the other hand i get the same compliments with both dark and light skin because i walk tall no matter what ,my feathers is and will always be the same and i love it ,the trick is love your self and enhance that what you can.

cordellpuss wrote:Very true i know a particular person who lighten her skin and when she gets dark then goes her confidence also !!it is as if she depend on lighter skin to feel human. On the other hand i get the same compliments with both dark and light skin because i walk tall no matter what ,my feathers is and will always be the same and i love it ,the trick is love your self and enhance that what you can.

We need to hear that all the time, LOVE YOUR SELF !! It is so attractive when you have a certain confidence about yourself. I don't mean being big headed, but just being happy in your skin and somehow it beams out to others.


I think the world would be a much nicer place if we loved ourselves more and showed love to others. I believe a lot of hate comes from jealousy, fear and unhappiness within ourselves. That is why I also think that people who find it so easy to put down others have their own issues that they need to deal with.

cordellpuss,

It sounds like your friend may have had a bad experience that has made her believe that being a certain tone is the only way to be happy. I hope she finds her peace and maybe as a friend you can help instil some of that gorgeous confidence you have.

Oh and I hear you about people's comments in Jamaica. My parents are from Jamaica, though I have never been there myself. However, my older sister went several years ago and was constantly bombarded with "Fat" comments throughout her 2 week visit. She is a little overweight but nothing to write home about. This made her trip quite miserable and she has vowed never to go back, which I think is sad, because apart from the comments she found it to be a beautiful place.

I can imgaine that in Germany, although considered by some to be a racist country, that you are appreciated for being different to the majority. I am glad to hear that it has been a positive experience. Funnily enough, there are other countries where people have told me that they are racist, but I have always had great treatment when I have travelled in Europe. I hope that this will always be the case.

thanks for the link MAHARANI

living in Pennsylvania i would think that i would come across racism but i haven't and i'm surprised

Makes you think that it isn't always bad !!!

That's true. Self-love should always be the first priority in all things. Because if you do not, then who really will? It's really sad how others of the same color have a tendency of saying hurtful things about one's complexion or hair. I recall one of my friends (she was about 3 years my elder) when I was in elementary school would often get picked on mostly by boys and they would call her "blackula", "night owl", and other ugly and harmful words. Yet, she was actually a really beautiful girl with long black hair, high IQ, and out going. But, what really amazed me was that she had a really good self-esteem about herself and carried herself really well, not letting their ignorance bother her...at least she did not show it if it did affect her.