First topic message reminder :

Just thinking about all these high profiile marriages, where the husband is found out to be a cheater, but the wives stick by them. thinking of Bill Clinton, David Beckham, Tiger Woods and a whole lot more.

Why do you think these women decide to stick it out?

.

And just to add, I think Victoria will hang on in there forever. You can tell she adores him .

.

Bj wrote:I would leave the guy that would try to do that to me. He should really consider if he is or is not ready for marriage. Or if he wants to be a player. I'm sure he would not want his wife to cheat on him like that, he should be more responsible.

I cannot picture Victoria ever cheating on him. Things will have to have gotten really bad, in my opinion. And yes David should have been more responsible. They have kids and these sort of affairs always tend to get out, eventually.


Actually you made me think of something. It is quite rare to find out that a female celebrity has cheated on her husband. I could not really think of any. Can anyone else?


.

Bj wrote:
I would leave the guy that would try to do that to me. He should really consider if he is or is not ready for marriage. Or if he wants to be a player. I'm sure he would not want his wife to cheat on him like that, he should be more responsible.
I'm with you 100% you teach people how to treat you!!! i will not be a door mat for no man.

MAHARANI wrote:

Bj wrote:I would leave the guy that would try to do that to me. He should really consider if he is or is not ready for marriage. Or if he wants to be a player. I'm sure he would not want his wife to cheat on him like that, he should be more responsible.

I cannot picture Victoria ever cheating on him. Things will have to have gotten really bad, in my opinion. And yes David should have been more responsible. They have kids and these sort of affairs always tend to get out, eventually.


Actually you made me think of something. It is quite rare to find out that a female celebrity has cheated on her husband. I could not really think of any. Can anyone else?


.

That's a good question. I couldn't think of any right off hand so I had to look it up to see, this was what I found:



*Jennifer Lopez began having an affair with Ben Affleck while she was still married to her former back-up dancer, Cris Judd. She divorced Judd and got engaged to Ben in late 2002. Less than two years later, Jennifer and Ben called off their engagement and separated.

*Tori Spelling allegedly cheated on her then-husband Charlie Shanian with Canadian actor Dean McDermott (who she later married).

*Angelina Jolie
*LeAnn Rimes
*Elizabeth Taylor
* Meg Ryan
*Anne Heche
*Kelly Brooke
*Marilyn Monroe

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
List is still pretty small when you look at the time span from around the 1950's or 60's to today. And it seems as though the female U.S. celebrities are not criticized or scrutinized as negative as the male celebrities who cheat. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seem to be that after the female celeb cheat she then become more popular, versus that male celeb..well, it could possibly ruin his career and/or reputation?

It was difficult for me to find any British female celebrities who cheat while I was googling though.. So they gave that nanny a hard time?? I sure hope so! I know if I was the wife, I definitetly would have the taught the nanny a lesson. I agree, Posh needs David more than he needs her. And it is a greater challenge when children are now in the picture. It makes me wonder though, if He had cheated before during their relationship (with her aware of it or not) and this this particular affair has now just come to the media surface?

cordellpuss wrote:Bj wrote:
I would leave the guy that would try to do that to me. He should really consider if he is or is not ready for marriage. Or if he wants to be a player. I'm sure he would not want his wife to cheat on him like that, he should be more responsible.
I'm with you 100% you teach people how to treat you!!! i will not be a door mat for no man.

I agree, as the saying goes "you have to earn respect, before respect can be given". Embarresingly I had mentioned this to one of my previous employers a few years back and let's just say she had me to repeat myself of what I had said a couple of times. But, it was a very disrespectful employer who treated employees really badly and was even physically abusive with a few. A line need o be drawn somewhere and how much you also value your self-worth and how you want to be treated. With the cheating, so many reasons as of why a spouse may cheat. I do not support this behavior at all and 100% condone it. But, there were possibly marital problems brooding behind the scenes long before this had happened. And yes, they were considered quite the "perfect" and "popular" couple (Posh/David), as written in the magazines. Media loves to eat this up because it shows more of their humanity and flaws.

Golden Girl,

As you posted your list, I do remember most of those affairs, but I don't believe these women were as vilified as their male counterparts. An affair is an affair no matter if it's the man or woman doing the deed, but yet these women seem to get away with it more? I wonder why.

I would not be surprised if David had cheated before. A lot of these footbabllers seem to be doing it. They do have lots of women throwing themselves at them and when they are playing away, so to speak, who knows what goes on.

I mean for instance I don't know if any of you from the US are familiar with Cheryl Cole, a very beautiful woman whose profile has certainly gone up since going under the wing of Simon Cowell and being a part of X Factor. Yet her husband, Ashley, a celeb footabller , has been found to be doing all sorts again, even after it was discovered he had been cheating. a while back. The tempation out there is clearly too much for him and even being married to a woman that so many seem to wish they could be, is not enough to stop him

I realise that looks are not everything and who knows what goes on behind closed doors, but surely these guys knew who they were marrying and if they felt that fidelity may not be possible, then like somone mentioned before , they really should never have got married.

And here is a pic of Cheryl, if you don't know her.

In cheryl's favour, it looks like Ashley is going to be dumped !! It did take a couple of mishaps before she decided enough was enough but at least she eventually realised she was worth more and life did not have to revolve around him .
.
.

I think those women celebs might get away with it more because how twisted socitey is and many may think it's a feminist action on their part since so many men do it all of the time. But, what's wrong is still wrong regardless if it's done by a man or woman.

For some they get lost in the relationship and the person their with, reason why some may not leave or takes them longer to finally leave for good.

I don't understand why either? Anyone who cheats, male or female, doesn't make it correct. I'm unsure if it's seen as some form of feminine liberation in the minds of some or praising the fact that women can be "players" too? I think they should have had their reputations placed on the line instead of somehow winning points for their actions, instead of it being condoned enough for it?

Cheryl is a beautiful young woman, and I'm happy that she had made the decision to move away from the frog so that a prince can take his place, as that isn't alwas an easy task to do. Unfortunately for many women and men yes it's true how it can be very difficult to separate themselves away from their spouse who they may still be deeply in love with. Yet, their spouse isn't holding to a greater value of their relationship and honor to their spouse nor to their selves.

Let's not kid ourselves, ladies! Having a nanny isn't the problem. We tend to want to blame & censor 'other'women. We are fast to turn on each other! A guy will cheat IF he has the type of permissive & entitled values (or LACK of them) that allows him to do so. You can hire an 80 yr old bag lady to be the nanny:your husband, if he's the type, will go to find a willing secretary, colleague, neighbour, escort, stripper or whomever.Unless you shoot any 'other' woman (That senator Sandford went as far as ARGENTINA to dig up a mistress!)

It has only been since the late 20th century AND only in North America & some parts of Europe that MEN have been expected by women & any other member of society to be monogamous. Adultery laws applied to WOMEN ONLY. Few men in history were ever monogamous & faithful to one wife. Since this time & in the above places, many women have careers & are financially solvent & can get a divorce. Before, few women were even literate & certainly couldn't leave a husband no matter what he did. The law AND the church even sanctioned wife-beating!

The 'other woman' isn't always more attractive either; look at Princess Diana & Camilla Parker Bowles (EEEEK!Miles of BAD ROAD!) Think of Hugh Grant who was PAYING for sex from street hooker Divine Brown (more bad road!) when he had Elizabeth Hurley at home. Let's not forget all those men both black & white living 'on the down low' (getting it on with other guys!)<---the Gov. of New Jersey got caught on the low. Sometimes, there's a tremendous power differential with the GUY having ALL the power: Monica Lewinskin & Prez. Clinton; Marilyn Monroe & Prez.Kennedy.

Sometimes the cheater is a 'pillar in the communit' or 'role model' type: think Jimmy Swaggart, Martin Luther King Jr. The Rev. Jesse Jackson, Mohammad Ali, Donald Trump...I could make this list VERY long!!! Hypocrisy & double standards run deep across gender lines.

Divorcing an affluent successful powerful man is not easy. YES, there's plenty of $$$. Much of it is hidden from the wife, HE can hire the best legal team (has one already!)SHE emerges looking like a money-grubbing B*@#H . The kids get dragged through pre Hades. MEN often try to keep the marriage intact because 'it's cheaper to keep her'. Women who divorce wealthy men often lose custody of (& even access to) the children because HE is the one able to keep them living the sheltered wealthy lifestyle they're used to. HE often has extensive connexions to the legal community, political system, law enforcement & god knows what else: she may get the divorce & a decent settlement (whatever the pre-nup allots)BUT he can see to it that she's black-balled & loses every social connexion she ever had. Sometimes, the political implications of a divorce risk upsetting the economy & political stability of an entire nation (in the case of royalty or presidents etc.)

Another issue jilted wives often consider is this: HE's rich or even solid middle class. HE can get a chain of younger hotter mistresses & replace her with a younger version any time. SHE's 50-is or 40-something. SHE has had the C-section & 3 kids. SHE is an 'older woman'. Where the h*ll is she going to find another man with all the qualities the one she's got has? SHE'll become a single middle-aged divorcee with 3 kids showing the 'signs of ageing'. HE'll become a 'distinguished-looking' man about town with grey temples, crinkles around his eyes & money, not tied down by a bunch of kids. YES, THIS IS UNFAIR. Women's eye crinkles aren't 'HOT': they're CROW'S FEET!!! Even if this woman has a stable income, she's a working middle-aged single mother (NOT exactly hot on the dating scene!). Sometimes, looking the other way at her husband's...straying...or setting boundaries (like NEVER bringing the 'other' around the home or the kids or mutual friends) is the sad compromise she makes.

Sometimes, the cheater is the guy you'd least suspect. This is cliche! An image of respectability & moral superiority makes a great hiding place: think Sen. John Edwards & now Al Gore is facing very serious allegations too.

Despite what self-help books say, YOU cannot prevent a guy from cheating unless you keep him locked in a box beneath the bed!!! YOU have to know this man well before saying I DO, having a baby, or shacking-up with him. YOU need to make decisions about what kind of morality & ethics YOU have. What boundaries you're going to set & stand firmly by & what YOU want to have going on in your & your kids' life. You can't control another adult. You can even put a pole in your house & do pole dances for him. THAT WON'T MAKE HIM NOT GO TO STRIP CLUBS or WATCHING PORN if that's his 'thing'. YOU'll just be debasing yourself. Men want one set of things from a wife & another from a mistress/escort/stripper etc. That is why men who cheat rarely marry the 'other woman' if she's a stripper, exotic dancer, escort etc. They don't marry these women: they use them for their pleasure! The rare man who does leave a wife for a mistress soon finds himself leaving the mistress for another mistress!!! It is a cycle.

Think: most husbands who cheat are doing so with a woman. Many of them are married or living with someone too! Before, cheating wives were branded, imprisoned, banished & put to death. Even there: cheating happened! Until recently, cheating wives flew below the statistical radar since few men were ever willing to admit that they'd been jilted & these women were VERY discreet (often the other man was a RELATIVE!)Now, more wives are willing to respond to surveys of this type & admit their infidelity. It can go both ways.

I must say that some women appear to be much better cheaters. Maybe it's because their partners are too arrogant to think that their other halfs would even comtemplate such a thing. lol P.S. I am a good girl really !!!!!!

Funny if they both were cheaters & wound up hooking up with each other on some cheaters' website! I'd love to be a fly on the wall at the No-Tell Motel that afternoon!

I have worked with guys that have cheated and it makes me feel so sad when I meet up with their patners knowing what has been happening behind their backs. I would just hate for that to happen to me. Almost like peole are laughing behind your back thinking how dumb u are for not realising. I do think that some women need to have a bit more solidarity with each other. If they know someone has a partner he should be considered out of bounds as far as I am concerned.

I think that sometimes certain women are afraid to show solidarity with a victimized woman. Female juries are notoriously hard on female rape victims & find reasons why she was foolish or brought it on. Male juries throw the book at the guy: they think that it could've been their daughter that this happened to; esp if the victim resembles a 'daughterly' type! Identifying with a victim entails acknowledging that we too might one day get raped, or cheated on or that our husband might be doing the same thing at that moment. Snickering & distancing oneself from the victim is easier & is a form of cheap 'fake empowerment'.

And then there are those who become hardened through their own life experiences. I remember an old friend of mine who found out that her husband had been cheating on her for many years. He had introduced this other woman to some of his friends and regularly took her to events that he had to do as part of his work. My friend found out about this very long affair after a couple of months of suspicions and as a result lost vast amounts of weight. So much weight that she was unrecognisable. I don't know if this gave her a renewed confidence, but she ended up getting closer to a male friend who was married with children and eventually started her own long term affair. I asked her how she could do this knowing how the affair in her own life had caused so much devastation. She simply said "Well I don't care about anyone else anymore because it happened to me and that's life!!"


I just know in my heart no matter what happens in my life, I truly believe I will never ever be so low that I have to take or get involved with someone else's man. I am much too good for that anyway !!! I Know some may say, well you won't know till it happens to you, but I just know. I have enough of an imagination to know that such a betrayal could feel like being stabbed over and over. Hurting others is not what I am about, be it intentionally or unintentionally.



.

The fact is I keep coming across women like your friend who don't give two hoots who they step on to get what they want & as far as I am concerned a bad experience is NO excuse.

I agree. It is no excuse at all. Nobody 'takes' or 'steals' another person's partner. Unless he or she kidnaps the person, he or she upped & went! The word NO is one of the first words a baby learns to say. They're good at it too! Somewhere along the way, we forget how & when to use it constructively. A good time is when some person is trying to coerce or finesse you into becoming a cheater. A firm NO leaves no room for negotiations or compromises. Practice saying this word firmly. Say it while keeping your chin parallel to the floor & moving it from left to right.

One of the main reasons I feel that women stay with their cheating husbands is if they have kids together. It is easy to say I am unhappy and leave when you are single but when you have children it is much harder to do. Most of the time if the parents are separated one of the parents have more of the responsibility than the other and the child doesnt have the love of both parents all the time which is crucial to a childs development IMO.

I had to laugh yesterday, when I read an article about those poor trapped miners who may not be rescued till Christmas !!! Well that's not the funny part.....trust me, I would be climbing the walls if I was trapped underground!!! Apparently a vigil was being held by the families of these miners. One of the wives noticed that amongst the chanting and prayers, her husband's name was being called by someone she did not know. It turns out that it was his mistress !!! Well all I can say is that if a message gets down to him that his secret has been uncovered, he has a great deal of time to work out what he has to say when he comes to the surface !!! I would love to be a fly on the wall when that happens. I am sure his devoted wife will be overjoyed to see him safe and well but at the same time would love to clobber him !!!! He should start praying that the team brought in to bring the rescue forward somehow are not successful and that the Christams spirit will see his wife in a better mood !!! LOL










.

There are numerous reasons why a wife may stay with a cheating husband. Most of the time it only happens once because there are problems in the marriage, that does not make it right but it is what it is. Some may stay for the sake of the children which is one of the worse things you could do, especiallly if things become hostile because then the child might grow up andd believe there parents would have been happier apart and it is their fault the parents stayed in bitterness.

Some reasons may be because of that little thing called religion. Some honestly believe if they divroce their soul is d**n to h*ll, now personally I don't believe but if I did I most certainly wouldn't worship a god that would d**n me for wanting to be happy while rewarding a jerk who at the last hour of his life was 'saved' but lived a crap life..

OMG re the mistress! Depending upon the wife's temper, he may be wise to shut up & remain in the freakin mine. I bet the next note she sends down will make for some entertaining reading!

MAHARANI wrote:I had to laugh yesterday, when I read an article about those poor trapped miners who may not be rescued till Christmas !!! Well that's not the funny part.....trust me, I would be climbing the walls if I was trapped underground!!! Apparently a vigil was being held by the families of these miners. One of the wives noticed that amongst the chanting and prayers, her husband's name was being called by someone she did not know. It turns out that it was his mistress !!! Well all I can say is that if a message gets down to him that his secret has been uncovered, he has a great deal of time to work out what he has to say when he comes to the surface !!! I would love to be a fly on the wall when that happens. I am sure his devoted wife will be overjoyed to see him safe and well but at the same time would love to clobber him !!!! He should start praying that the team brought in to bring the rescue forward somehow are not successful and that the Christams spirit will see his wife in a better mood !!! LOL











.

Ha ha ha. And the thing is that if they wanted to, the 2 women have plenty of time to discuss what has been occurring without hubby being able to intervene and put down his side of the story. Somethings can seem a whole lot worse without the third person being able to gloss over things !!!

Maybe the other woman and the wife can start a club? Lol